ceva de râs cu manageri

Joi, 15 Ianuarie 2015 | 0 Comentarii

Textul e de pe net, sursa exactă nu se cunoaşte … e ca Mioriţa, s-a transmis pe cale bucală. Have fun, but NSFW!

To: All Romanian Speaking Staff

Subject: Improper Language Usage It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our office in Romania that offensive language is commonly used by our Romanian speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1. Words like “futu-i”, “în pula mea”, “pula” and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
2. You will not say “şi-a bagat pula” when someone makes a mistake, or “s-a căcat pe el” if you see someone being reprehended, or “băga-mi-aş”, when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb “a se căca” and “a se fute” are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred to as “pulă de om”, “căcănaru’” or “boul”.
4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as “pulălău” nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as “muiangiu”.
5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as “porcării”.
6. Do not say “futu-ţi mă-ta” if somebody is persistent; do not add “pula mea”, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say “am pus-o” (refer to item 2) nor “o să ne-o tragă” when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say “du-te-n pula mea” or should you ever substitute “May I help you?” with, “ce pula mea vrei?”.
8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners “boşorogi împuţiţi”.
9. Do not say “ia mai mereţi-n pulă cu căcatu’ asta” when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer “futu-te-n cur” when your assistance is required.
10. You should never call partner representatives as “boul dracului” or “tâmpitu’ ăla”.
11. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as “pizdulică bună”, “futăciosu’” or “homalău’ lu’ peşte”.
12. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say “mă şterg la cur cu textul ăsta”. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

manager-2015

E comic, am mai văzut undeva nişte formule de adresare în cazul în care cineva îţi solicită ajutorul şi tu nu prea ai chef. Într-un post viitor …

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